Honey Nut GMO’s

There has been a lot of buzz in the news recently regarding marriage equality for same sex couples.  And while I believe the landmark decisions made out of this very high profile case will have a tremendous impact in our history, there was something else going on right in front of our faces. 
President Obama signed H.R. 933
  

*clears throat* I was the blue bubble.  Well not really, but I had no clue what the Monsanto Protection Act was, and I didn’t know that it happened until folks on my FB timeline were discussing it.  The bill was introduced to the House on March 4th, and even with a petition with over 250,000 signatures demanding more research on the effects of GMO,  it was made into law on the 26th of March.  
Read More About The Act
I try my best to protect my kids and husband from the “evils” of processed food, and when I heard of GMO’s a while back, I tried to stay clear of that as well, but the truth of the matter is, I didn’t know how to effectively protect myself from the GMO monster.  I had no clue where exactly he was hiding.  I wasn’t sure if he was a brightly colored, tap dancing monster, or if he was like a creepy ghost.  Came to find out GMO is a little of both.
You can’t protect yourself from things you don’t know exist.  So now I am back to the drawing board, ensuring that the majority of what we eat is organic and GMO-free.  I give major props to my girl, Tanya, who is really trying to start a revolution.  Because it’s easy for me to switch and buy the good stuff so easily, but for those in poorer neighborhoods where those options aren’t easily attainable, it’s extremely hard.  Tanya recognizes that, she understands it because she is living testimony of the food inequality going on in her own community.  A pack of hotdogs cost 99cents, but a piece of lean organic chicken can run you $8.00. It’s not fair, it’s not right, and it shouldn’t be tolerated.  Tanya is doing something about it….she’s not just talking the talk, my girl is walking the walk too!! Support her efforts and possibly be inspired to not only donate to her cause, but to also duplicate her efforts in other communities.
Support the Veggie Mobile Market
My kids and I are starting a veggie garden in the back.  Now I have a certified black thumb when it comes to horticulture.  I’ve tried everything.  My mother in law on the other hand can take the corn kernel stuck in the back of your tooth, plant that joker and have a full garden by the end of the harvesting season.  I am pretty sure that if my garden flourishes the way I want it to, that I will have more than my share of produce, and I will commit to selling or donating to those that find it hard to obtain in their community.  
I’ll post pictures of my garden.  If the pics suddenly stop, that means I wanted to spare you countless pictures of dirt (because my crops didn’t grow).
Please share this post with others.  Not for me, but to share the efforts of Tanya!!  And thanks to those on my timeline who keep me in the loop.  I don’t claim to know it all, but I am grateful for the folks I surround myself around who push this knowledge in my face.  
Check out this video:  

~EITB  
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Crazy, right?

Have you ever had a moment in time where everything seems to be happening at once?  Or you feel extremely happy and completely annoyed at the same damn time?  Gotten to the point where you just wanted to SCREAM?   I think I was there yesterday, and apparently this was an overnight trip, because I still feel like I am there.  
I found out yesterday morning that my application for graduation was approved.  HELLS JEAHHH!  I feel like I have been in college for ever.  It took me 6 years to get my undergraduate degree because of two unplanned (but very much loved and welcomed) pregnancies.  
Then I tried to be billy bad azz and start grad school 2 months after my 2nd child was born.  
Crazy-fans-war-face  I was sooo amped.  I just knew I would be finished graduate degree in no time.  
Welp…..here we are 8 years later.  Yea, my plans didn’t go the way I had hoped.  There were jobs, moves, a marriage and baby #3 that kind of “got in the way”.  But I did it!! 
So that was the happy of yesterday.  But then the not so happy happened when the new chick at my job, came to my desk without a “good morning”, “hello” or even “aye you” and invaded my personal space to look at my phone set up.  Well the IT guy she brought with her really invaded my space.  It all happened so fast, and I was screaming “what the hell are you doing” to the tech guy while I was explaining how rude the new girl was being.  Her response to not saying hi to me was “Well you looked busy and I didn’t want to bother you”.  SAY WHAT NOW!?!? 

I gave her the most confused/evil glare I could conjure up and as she flew out of my cubicle, I walked my tail to a coworkers desk.   I KNOW how I can be, and God has been working with me to control my temper.  Cray Cray Crystal would have kirked out on her.  Gone apeshyt, and well I really love my job, and I don’t need that reputation.  
I know! I know! You are probably saying “I would have said this” or “I would have done that”, but sometimes, things happen so fast that I can’t think of quirky or sassy remarks to put her in her place and still save my face.  I’m a work in progress. I am definitely a “damn, I should have said….” kind of person.  But the new girl is now on strike 2, she has one more strike before her and I have to have a civil one on one discussion.  
 
So here I was at a crossroad in my emotions.  LOL! I was happy about the graduation, but at that brief moment I let that rude girl steal my joy and anger me.  I gave her too much power!!  But I eventually remembered a poem I wrote years ago, that always made me happy.  I hope you enjoy it.  I don’t showcase my creativity all that often.  Please feel free to leave a comment, and use my poem to inspire others.
Stop Stressing, Acquire Jubilation 

Cause when you worry 
Your face will frown 
And that will bring everybody down 
So don’t worry, be happy (now)….. 
Listen to what I say 
In your life expect some trouble 
But when you worry 
You make it double 
Don’t worry, be happy…… 
Don’t worry don’t do it, be happy 

Ok, Ok Ok!!!! So maybe this wasn’t so much a poem created by me, but moreso me copying & pasting the words to Bobby McFerrin’s hit song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”….but I bet it made you smile!!  It made me smile writing it.  And on that note, I am finally waving my last goodbyes to Angryville.  
Awww shux! Dammit!!! Why didn’t you guys have me check my ticket before I boarded this train, it clearly says the next stop is UGGHHHH Town, the city formally known as PMSboro.
Catch you all later, I need to run and stock up on Chocolate & practice my side eye.
EITB

Who Gon’ Check Me?

This poem goes out to all my hustlers, pimps and players just trying to make it out here in this cold cold world.  Bwaahahhaah, naw for real, this is just my Ode to Autocorrect (aka stupid autocorrect).  I am tired of the stupid autocorrect changing the words I type into something obscene, irrelevant or just plain dumb.  If I type the letter u instead of you, DONT CHANGE THAT ish to I.  I didn’t mean I.  How big do you think my fingers are?  Even when I tried every setting in the world on my phone to put this heaux in its place, it still comes around to haunt my every word.  
Who Gon’ Check Me Boo?
When I told my friend 
“Let’s meet for sinus”
When u put in Mobius, 
WHEN I KNOW I wrote minus
Who Gon Check Me Boo?
On FB I said
I was excited about a party
But you changed it to p*ssy
And now I look naughty
Who Gon Check Me Boo?
I’ve added dumb words
Like likka, nucca, & bish
And yet you still want to change
the word Farrah to fish
Who Gon Check Me Boo?
Autocorrect, Kiss Yo Self
Ugh, NO, KILL YO SELF, not Kiss!?! Stupid AutoCorrect!
Gotta run!  I hear crying…… but look below for some really funny autocorrect shots.  🙂  And feel free to leave a comment! 
~EITB
   

Oh Behave…..

Thursday, we took the kids to see the pre-screening of the new Mindless Behavior (the negroes pictured above) “documentary”.  The movie started at 5p, but since we knew how much of a cult following fan base these ninjas have, we arrived around 2:30p.  Yes, 2.5 hours early, and we were about 15th in line.  Glad to see there are mothers more trifling than me, that took their girls out of school early to bring them to something so significant and historical as a Mindless Behavior “documentary”.  Meh, judge me if you want, but when your done judging, please kick rocks with open toe shoes on.  
What?  And IF you insist on scratching your head to the white meat, trying to understand why I took the kids out of school early for this….well since you asked, my daughter has had tons of medical issues this year, including a week long stay in the hospital.  So I decided that to change the mood a bit, instead of another neurology and pulmonologist appointment, we’d go to the movies.  I mean I didn’t have to explain myself, but I just wanted to let the people know.  
So back to the event.  We stood in one line for about 45 mins before we were instructed to walk to the theater and pick our seats to watch the movie, then return to a different line for a meet & greet with the singers from the group.   Our options were limited with the seating.  We couldn’t sit in the RESERVED sections (which was damn near every seat).  Our options were either all the way in the back where I am sure the group would look like tiny figurines, or wayyyy up close enough to see the nostril hairs of each group member.  I did what any red blooded American would do, and found a happy medium in the handicap section.  
We ran back out to the meet & greet area and waited.  And waited.  And waited.  As we waited for what seemed like an eternity, the line behind us grew and grew.  I don’t even know where it ended, and honestly didn’t care because we were all the way up front.  The girls in the crowd started to sing Mindless Behavior songs as they waited.   And that’s when I realized how much “non mainstream” my girls and my god child really were.  They only knew 2 songs!! Me and my friend’s unapologetic listening of pop music, gospel music and slow jams of the 90s in the car had a huge impact on them knowing all the “cool” songs. D’ah well!!  
Slowly, more “important” personnel came up to the front, I guess to look official.  Then two body guards came out and you would have thought Jesus Christ himself came into the room (not sure if they would have even showed Him that much love….*sigh*).  The screaming was that of panic, uncertainty and desperation all balled up into one loud octave.  If I had the choice to relive the moments of those girls screaming or listen to Aaron Neville sing Ashanti’s “greatest” hits on repeat, I’d GLADLY listen to Aaron.  When the group (only 2 showed up) finally did come out, it was pure pandemonium.  Girls were crying, wetting their pants, and speaking in tongues at the same damn time.  They lost their mind. 
My middle daughter had the highest pitched scream ever!! It was so high that Pocahontas  RayRay stopped autographing posters just to look up at her in disbelief.  That’s my girl! ha!  So the girls got their pics with the dude that looks like a female and the dude that looks like he’s 35.  Their world was now complete.  I was happy to have that over and done with.  I’m good to go home now.  I mean it’s 6pm.  I’m hungry and my feet hurt…..huh, wait what?  I gotta stay and watch the movie?!  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!  Take meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
So yea, there was the movie we still had to watch.  I don’t even have the brain cells to give a detailed recollection of that experience.  So here are the highlights:
  • 1 hour showing childhood of each member.  I’m happy they were able to think so far back. How were they able to recall the last 10 -12 years on earth with such clarity.
  • Every 25 mins there was a lesson for the viewers to learn: Be nice to kids with deformities.  Visit Michael Jackson’s childhood home for weird sentimental connections.  Love your mommy. 
  • These boys parents were wayyyyy to trusting to leave their babies with these grown men to pursue a music dream that was not even theirs.  <— that's another discussion!
So after the movie finished and I wiped the blood from my eyeballs, I damn near screamed for the girls to get the heck up and move out.
I mean, it was an experience (an experience I will NEVER have again) and I am glad that the girls enjoyed themselves.  I want to send a HUGE thank you to my dear friend who made this all possible.  +Nae Carter (http://www.ichoosethesun.com) Thanks sis!! The kids would have never had this moment without you.
Well that’s my cue, I see someone is playing in my make up…….