Poppin Bottles!

My husband and I have been raising babies since WE were babies.  We met in college and instead of working hard towards our degree, we were working hard in other areas….. (sorry mom).
Our hard work really paid off! I got a gig as a “mom” and that was that.  I left school to move back with my mom so I could sort some things out.  Shyt just got real and I needed to take care of it.  I went back to school and got a full time job in the government.
But life was too easy! I needed more pressure.  I needed to be stressed, what good was the hair on my head if it wasn’t grey or being ripped out from stress, so I had another “oops” baby.   If I thought shyt was real then, well then it definitely got REAL-er with this second pregnancy.

But I didn’t let that deter me from the goals I set out before I became a mom.  I received my degree 1 month before I had my second baby, and I found a career track that I knew I would enjoy at my place of employment.  The father of the kids and I married and bought a house, I even enrolled in school to get my Masters degree.  I was at peace.  
Things were going according to my plan and well I was happy with my somewhat dysfunctional family.  But I still wasn’t bald!!!  Lord why is my life so easy.  I mean I was just making ends meet! I NEED to struggle! I mean those weren’t my actual thoughts, but your would have thought they were when I announced being pregnant with our third baby.
Aaaah, now I felt better.  I was irregular.  I had constant headaches.  I gained weight.  THIS is what life is about, right?  Stressed the FREAK out, looking crazy?  But then the questions started coming…..
“When are you guys going to try for the boy?”
Man, if yall don’t sit down somewhere!?!  I haven’t seen this many people in my uterus since my last baby was born!! I mean if we were living in a DELUXE apartment in the sky-y-y-y, I could see maybe people asking that question.  But we don’t.  Or maybe if you handed a large sack full of $100 dollar bills prior to you saying that, I wouldn’t be as angry. 
I did the math.  I need to stop while I am ahead if I want to be like this:
And so my husband won’t be like this:
(no he wouldn’t really bail out!! LOL! Just thought it was a funny gif)
So unless you are going to pay for daycare, diapers, and offer to babysit for Baby Neva, then stop asking when we are going to try for the boy.  
We are not here for your repopulation efforts!! I am looking forward to vacations out of the country, without worrying if I left enough breastmilk in the freezer for the baby.  Nerp! NO WAY! No how!
I love my kids to DEATH and wouldn’t change anything for all the riches in the world but…………………….I’M DONE POPPIN BOTTLES!

*disclaimer: if by any chance I happen to get pregnant again after this, I HIGHLY suggest you put ol’ girl on suicide watch*



3 thoughts on “Poppin Bottles!

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