Walk It Out!

6:15pm – Hair. Check.  Make Up. Check. Outfit. Check.
6:30pm – Riding down Suitland Parkway, music blasting, ready for dinner and drinks with a friend.
7:00pm – Arrive in front of restaurant.
7:10pm – look for parking
7:15pm – Answer “where are you?!” text from friend
7:30pm – Scream at the DC parking gods for NEVER having any parking ever!
7:35pm – Find parking damn near in MD, 1000 blocks away from my final destination
I parked my car and contemplated on whether or not I was going to keep my heels on and walk the Green Mile, or if I was going to put on my flip flops, knowing GOOD AND WELL I was in desperate need of a pedicure.  It took me all of 2 seconds to decide on my flip flops, and then trekked it to my final destination.  A few feet from the restaurant, I stopped, leaned against the wall and put on my heels.  I had to give this lady the “And What?!” look as I clumsily hopped into my heels.  And then I sashayed into the restaurant.
Fast forward 2 hours.   I sashay out the restaurant, and do the same wobble/hip hop moves to get my swollen feet out my heels and put on my flip flops for the long walk back to the car. 
Oh, what’s that Mr. Homeless man?  You want to approach me?  In the dark?  *sigh*  I clutch my heels tight, in case they need to be used as a weapon, and walk faster in my flip flops. He mumbles something, and I give him the look of death.  I think he got my point. 
As I drove around looking for parking, I posed the question in my head:  Just How Far Would You Park for a Friend?
I mean honestly.  When do you say, “lookey here…I can’t find parking.  The lots are all packed.  I’m sorry, but I’m going home”  Do you factor in walking buddies?  Type of shoe?  Weather?  Outfit?  Whether or not you even like the person you are coming to see?  
I’ve calculated that I have walked 87,340 miles from my parked car to my final destination in DC (maybe I am exaggerating.)  over the course of my lifetime.  That’s too damn much.  I either need a chauffeur or to park my car in front of the restaurant the night before to make sure I have a decent spot.  And well since none of those options are feasible, I am working on an app.  I need an app that will calculate how far I will park based on certain criteria. Like if it’s raining, I’m by myself, I have on 3.5″ heels, and I only like you, but don’t LIKE YOU like you, well I want the app to tell me 2 blocks max or something like that.  But if it’s sunny, i’m with my girls, with some cute flats on and I love you like a sister…..you know maybe the app will tell me 3 blocks & a cab ride.  I don’t know. I’m just throwing it out there.  
I mean for me, nothing can ruin a night more than searching 10 years for a parking spot, and find one 80 miles from where you really need to be.  
<— Me after parking….LOL!

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