I’ve been a mom for about 13 years now. I have 3 girls. 12, 9, and 3. I was pretty sure I had the “mom” thing down pact. I was able to cook food, help with homework and wash laundry at the same damn time. All while standing in 4″ stiletto heels. (the previous sentence may or may not be a complete and total lie).
My 3rd child started off as such a sweet and lovely young soul. She wasn’t a bad or cranky baby. Really only cried when she wanted food or diaper change, or when she was sleepy.
But as she learned to say words such as juice or hungry, I realized that, welp, she may be the one. Yes THE ONE! The one that haunts you in your dreams. You toss and turn hearing “juice” or “hungee” in your sleep. She’s that child that makes you say “That’s It! No more kids for me!”.
The relationship my baby girl has developed is borderline stalkerish. Most parents know the gripe of “I can’t even sh*t in peace”. For those that don’t have kids, could you imagine? I mean LITERALLY NOT BEING ABLE TO SH*T IN PEACE!!! Go ahead and try to recreate this event. Get comfy on the seat, grab your book and right when you are about to do your business, then have someone set something on fire in your house. That way there is some sense of urgency. It’s like my daughter has some weird radar. She literally claws at the door and needs a play by play of what I am doing in the bathroom. She’ll even go as far as saying she has to go too. As I scream through the locked bathroom door for her to go use one of the other 3 bathrooms in the house, she tries to convince me that ONLY my bathroom would do.
You know how in scary movies the victim can sense someone staring at them, or following them down the dark alley? Well those footsteps that speed up, as I begin to run are that of my daughter, and she is screaming out “mommy where are you going?” LOL.
I have gone out at night, and PRAYED that this child is asleep when I walk in the house. And have tip toed inside, only to be greeted by the sound of a 20lb body sliding down the stairs, eager to jump in my arms and say “mommy, I’m hungry”. LOL! Yea, no mommy i missed you or I love you.
My husband just says “Oh she just loves you. You’re her best friend”. To that I say, “meh”. I mean, I know she means no harm, it’s just different. My other girls were very independent. They didn’t require to be up my ass 24-7. But it’s OK, I suppose. I love baby girl to death, and sometimes it’s nice to have my little shadow by my side. And I guarantee there will come a time where the roles will reverse, and I’ll be standing at the entry way to her bathroom drilling her with questions about some boy she likes, or something silly like that. I guess I need to enjoy it and soak it all up while I can.
Any kiddie stalkers in your life?