Oh Snap! Your Pants Are On Fire!!

Lie: a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a 
falsehood.

We have all lied.  We have all been lied to.  Unless you are a newborn infant, I can make such a general statement and be sure it applies to damn near everyone reading this.  If you feel you don’t belong in this category, then you my dear are a liar.  

Liars don’t wake up and say *Yawn* “Today is a good day to lie”.   It’s just like second nature to them.  Now all liars aren’t created equal, but then they kinda are.  I know that didn’t make the most sense, but try to see where I am going with this.

Some people lie to save their ass in a quick pinch.  Some lie to make others feel good.  Some lie to make themselves feel good.  Some lie just to see how far they can get away with the lie.  The commonality is that the reason they lie is all about them, and never about the person they are lying to. They are selfish.  

Liars are cowards.  Whether they are being a coward because they don’t want their boss to write them up for being late.  Or they are being too cowardice to be honest with a friend that her new hairstyle makes her look more like a balding chihuahua and less like Amber Rose.  And to be fair, we’ve ALL been cowards in one way or another.

So am I saying we’re all a big bunch of cowardly liars?  Not exactly.  But you said that we all have lied, and then said liars are cowards, so YOU ARE calling us all cowardly liars! 
Fine!  Yes.  We are all cowardly liars.  But there are still different levels to this shit.  There are certain liars that you may raise an eyebrow to, but it won’t completely destroy your relationship with them.  Like a child who lied about using all of your expensive eye shadow for their recent drawing because it’s “shimmery”.  I suppose we are just to ignore the fact that your fingers are COVERED in the stuff.  But you address it, you explain the consequences of lying and you forgive.  Moving on.  

Now most kids (A) will say, well I don’t want to disappoint mommy like that again, so maybe I really shouldn’t lie.  There are other kids (B) that say, well I don’t want to disappoint mommy like that again, so maybe I should be a better liar.  Now realistically, we know for the most part kid A is going to lie again.  But kid B is not only going to lie, but they are also going to sit and think about how elaborate the lie will be.   

When we move on to adulthood, liars become more selfish.  They don’t want to deal with reality, so it’s easier to just lie.  And then the ones that lie, just to lie are annoying, but at least they are constant.  You know that they are always lying so you tend not to believe a word of what they say, but it’s OK. You still love them.  They aren’t usually a mate or child.  They are like a cousin, or that one friend you know “ain’t never met Rev. Martin Luther the Kang”.

Wow!! There are so many different types of liars! So should we be suspect of everyone.

Nope. I always give people a clean slate. I never want to automatically assume the person I am interacting with is a liar.  That’s not fair.  But I am weary of someone I meet that lies over little things, and it doesn’t see like it was necessary.  In my mind, I’m like FOR WHY?

But what about someone closer to you that lies to save their ass and will look you in your face and try to convince you that you are certified C-R-A-Z-Y.  Those are the scariest of them all.  They actually begin to believe their own lie.  They can’t keep up with their lies, and when you bring up those past lies, they look bewildered.  And claim you are “bringing up old shyt”.  But that “old shyt” happened like last week.  Those liars really make my skin crawl.  I honestly look at those kinds of liars like “who the f*ck do you think you are that you don’t owe me the truth”.  Then they get mad that you don’t “trust them”.  They can’t imagine the tables being turned, so they just don’t get it.  This can be a spouse, parent or older child.   It can be a lot of people that are close to you.

Can you ever trust a liar?  From my point of view, I can only trust that they are probably going to lie again.  But that doesn’t mean that I want purity verification of everything they say. I’m not going to run outside to feel the rain on my skin before I believe their statement that “it’s raining outside”.  That’s just too much trouble.  So, I’ve learned to trust them with things that won’t harm me emotionally or physically.  I’m not trusting this person with my deepest secrets.  I can’t trust them with my heart.   I can’t trust that they won’t even lie on me, or have my back.  

I have a confession.  I’m a liar.  But if it’s something that I know may hurt you, I just can’t lie about it.  I can’t look a person in the face, who is crying, and just lie. It takes a special kind of person to do that.  That’s the type of person that you almost feel sorry for, because they’ll never have a real relationship where someone entrusts them with their heart, once their deceitful ways are revealed. I actually hate lying  and I’m no good at it.  I learned years ago it was just MUCH easier to tell the truth up front.  People will actually TRUST you if you are just open and honest.  They’ll give you another chance.  

I have been to the point at various stages in my life, where I said that I was going to lie to that person, so they would know how it felt.  But I always forgot to lie!  See, it’s just not in my DNA.  You should see me trying to work on my story, running it over in my head.  Have too many damn details that no one ever asked for.  “Yea I was with Ruth.  Her hair was straight that day.  I remember I wore a blazer and sparkly heels, and the lady at the store told me she liked them”  But I only asked if you took the video back to RedBox last night.

Have you ever trusted a liar that’s hurt you in the past?  Was your relationship ever the same?  Do you still hold some things back, or verify some things they say every once in while because  you don’t want to be hurt again?  Again this applies to a parent, spouse, older child, best friend,etc.   

Side Note: One of my favorite movies is Liar! Liar! with Jim Carrey.  LOL! Go figure!!




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