Old Lady Lulu!

So today, I was working from home.  I heard a frantic knock on my front door. I figured it was the postman with a package.  They usually knock and walk away, to let me know the package is at the door.  I ignored it.  Then they began knocking on the door again.  So, I tiptoed to the front door to look out the peep hole.  The person on the other side of the door sported a bright orange construction worker vest.  I didn’t know who the heck it was, and refused to answer the door.  

She had a clip board in her hand too.  So then I am thinking….am I being served papers or something.  But still, no peep from me.  After a while, the lady starts taking pictures of the front of my house.  My heart starts racing.  See last week, I was messing around on a realtor site and listed my home for sale. I just wanted to see if anyone would bite.  I only listed it for 8 hours because the next morning, my phone was BLOWING up.  I opened some insane portal of crazed realtors.  They were like relentless, zombies after commission!  ( I used to be a realtor, so I get it)  

Anywhooooo, so now I am thinking… “this chick is about to put my house for sale!”  . I monitor her and then notice she walks to my backyard….I forgot to lock it shut this morning.  I become livid.  So I open my patio door and begin screaming “Get Off My Property!!! NOW!!”  She keeps asking if my name is XXXX.  Then as she tries to explain herself, I cut her off and tell her I am going to call the police.  I am looking real loco right now.  So she runs to her car and they take off down the street.

I get back to my computer and I’m annoyed.  I was on a work call, so I couldn’t call anyone to share that I had just chased some weirdo off my property.

All would have been well with the world if I didn’t get this message from my husband 5 mins later:

Awww damn!!  Nobody told me she was coming!  So this Allstate agent probably thinks I am theeee craziest person right now.  I’m so embarrassed that I scared that poor woman off.  In my head scarf nonetheless, you know to solidify the cray-cray.  

I’m sorry Miss Allstate Lady!! I’m not crazy.  Don’t up our premiums because you think I may pull out my shotgun on the next person that comes on my property.  

I need a drink!  


2 thoughts on “Old Lady Lulu!

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